Any suggestions for this poem?

I Am.

Take a step outside of this world

Off this domineering curb of society

And into the cracks

Stray from the roles

For which we are either destined

By fate

Or this corrupt system

Stand with me in triumph

For I am the remedy

I am the rebellious teenager

I am the unwed mother

I am the lost child

I am the forgotten

And when this world gets too loathsome to watch

To hideous to see

Depart in confidence

For we are the truly awakened

Stand where lake becomes sea

Where mountain becomes plain

Where forests become barren

Where lust becomes love

And where the wings of the eagle

Caress sweet lavender winds

And soft salty skies

Live with me outside your atrophy

Away from the decadence of what is genuine

And with my splendor

For I am love

---be honest

Any suggestions for this poem?anti virus

I really like the feel of this poem and the words you put together (i.e. "soft salty skies), but I when I read it out loud, it didn't have very much rhythm. There's too much transitioning from one pattern to another, andI kinda got turned off. But it *is* a great poem, and has a lot of potential. Keep up the good work!

Any suggestions for this poem?auto protect